this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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