He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
