we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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