Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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