I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
