I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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