All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize