my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
