It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you're hired as official boob wrangler
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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