Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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