Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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