so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
