no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
