Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
