I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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