This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
