when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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