when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
