I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i think i just lost a toe
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize