This is not my ceiling
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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