Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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