I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my sisters under your porch take her home
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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