I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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