He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
