We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
