we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
