Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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