if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
