Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
