We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
