Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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