Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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