i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
