there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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