arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My vagina is officially offended.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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