You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just high enough for therapy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
