Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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