Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
