I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
