if i can run in heels then i can drive
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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