Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
