I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
