I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
