The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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