I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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