How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This baby is an asshole
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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