i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
be right there i have to get my cape
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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