I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize