At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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