cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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