I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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