me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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