Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
