just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
