I understand Curling. That high.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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