Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
