I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
