You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
