just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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