You're completely useless in the revolution.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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