I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
