can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
