I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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