We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
